Dib's Ipod
by SlyFlyer
Summary: Zim takes Dib's I pod and goes through it questioning the content. horrible summary, but it's ZaDr R and R
1. Chapter 1

Ok, so I got inspired to write this because of all the crap that kids are listening to now-a-days with the cursing, and the bad, and all that jazz. (like many of you care but still) Of course, I am no exception cause all the songs in here are on my ipod. Hahaha so then review's n junk.

"Talking"

'_Dib thinking.'_

'_**Song lyrics**_

'

Dib sighed and plopped down on the couch in Zim's house. He and Zim lived together now, considering Dib's dad kicked him out junior year of highskool, so he had no where else to go. So it only made sense for him to go and live with his current boyfriend, Zim.

He knew that he left his i pod on the side table in the bedroom but now he couldn't find it. He also knew that almost for sure his Irken had stolen it. Dib got up slowly and went looking for Zim this time rather than the i pod again.

He wandered down the hall way and into the various rooms of the house. Attempting to find the green creature who he thought had stolen his i pod. Now…what would an alien want with his ipod he would probably never knew all he knew is that he was quickly becoming angry with his lack of music.

"Zim?" he questioned.

"Zimmmm…" He hollered.

'_Where is he?' _Dib thought to himself. _'He should be here somewhere…'_ Sighing,Dib decided to go down to the lab. After him and Zim got together Zim would let him down in the lab because now there was nothing to hide Zim, wasn't planning on destroying anything for a while.

"Zim!" Dib cried out in exasperation. "Come on Zim I want my i pod back." He said. Finally reaching the lab of the base Dib saw Zim, and he saw his ipod. "Zim come on you had to have heard me I've been calling for you for a while now." He said.

"Yea yea I heard you." The Irken said quietly.

"Then why didn't you respond?" the human teen questioned.

"A-cuz I didn't want to, I was listening to your Hyooman moosic."

'_Oh great he went through my ipod, not that anything horrible is on there…I think, well nothing that nobody else listens to.'_

"Zim wants to know why hoomans have such…vulgar, nasteh, moosic." The Irken said.

"What do you mean by vulgar Zim?" Dib said questioningly. Zim slowly searched through the teen's music once again trying to find the songs that he was talking about.

"Well it sings about…well, stuff and I want to know why they wanna sing about it."

Dib sighed, "I really need you to be more descriptive there Zim."

"Hold on hold on Zimmmm needs to find itttt." The irken said in a slightly aggravated tone. Zim grinned as he found the first song he had been talking about and played it.

'_**Everywhere I go bitches always know**_

_**That Charlie Scene has got a weenie that he loves to show (bitch)**_

_**Everywhere I go bitches always know**_

_**That Charlie scene has got a weenie that he loves to show**_

_**Wake up, grab beer, grab rear**_

_**Shave beard, put on some scene gear**_

_**Gotta get drunk before my mom wakes up**_

_**Break-up with my girlfriend so I can bang sluts**_

_**I'm un-'**_

Suddenly the music cut off. "See Dib-human? Nasteh music with bad messages for the little people of this...filthy earthhh. Why would WE care that HEE is…"

"Banging sluts…Zim?'

"Mhm..yes?"

"No one does people only listen to it for the good beat, or whatever, that it has."

"Well..ZIMM, does not feel that this music is GOODDD. And shall not listen to it. EVERRR." The green irken said as he put on another song.

'_**Damn right hoe you're so sleezy!**_

_**You give me the hibby jibbies!'**_

Zim cut it off again. "What are people supposed to say to that?!"

'_**Shut the fuck up bitch, quit talking.**_

_**I want to see those panties dropping. Drop dropping.**_

_**Drop dropping. Drop those fucking panties girl!'**_

"SEEEE. The Moosicc..it…it burnnnsss." Zim shouted as he fell and convulsed on the floor, while Dib was trying not to laugh went and helped his boyfriend up.

"Well Zim you really wanna know why people sing about this?" Dib said already forming ideas in his mind of how to show, and explain Zim of why they do.

Zim popped up excitedly 'Yes the almighty Zim wishes to knowwww.'

'Well Zim people sing about those things be-'

'Waittt can you explain those…things to Zimmmm.'

Dib sighed in exasperation "I was trying. Zim it's the same things we do pretty much." Zim stared at Dib for a few seconds then tilted his head to the side.

"Hm?"

Dib looked at Zim and understood that he obviously wasn't getting this. "You know what I mean Zim. I told you, just like the stuff we do."

"Yesssss but Dib we do LOTS of things, I don't know which one you're talking about." Zim grinned.

Dib wasn't sure if Zim was enjoying annoying him, or if he had something horrible in his green, alien mind, it was hard to tell. Dib glared at Zim and sighed still trying to figure out what to do.

Suddenly the Irken blasted more music from his i pod.

'_**Shut up and sleep with me**_

_**Come on uh huh and sleep with me**_

_**Don' you listen to those old conventions**_

_**No try to suppress your real intentions**_

_**You're open minded, at least that's what you keep on sayin'**_

_**Don't be afraid of doing what you're best at**_

_**Shut up**_

_**Shut u-'**_

Zim looked at Dib expediently.

"Well?"

"Well what Zim?"

"I'm waiting for my…explanation."

"Well as I said Zim, it's the same things we do and people sing about it because they think it's cool and sexy or something like that, or they think we actually are who's screwin' who."

Zim nodded finally seeming to understand.

"So really they have no purpose in singing this…nasty moosic?"

"pretty much, I don't think that they know that they are slowly but surely corrupting this generations children and will continue to happen." Dib said, while leaning down towards Zim and wrapping his arms around the Irken's waist.

"Then why's it popular?"

"Because"

"Because?"

Dib looked down at Zim and shook his head. Simply staring into the Irken's eyes he figured now it was time to show Zim why people sung about the awful stuff that's in music, movies, and TV shows.

Dib planted his lips firmly on Zim's.

"See Zim?" Dib said while pulling back away from Zim.

Zim grinned and shook his head. "Guess you'll have to show me some more."

Dib smiled and leaned down proceeding to kiss Zim again while reaching to play with his antenna.

"Gladly."

**Songs used- 'every where I go' by Hollywood undead **

** 'Sex toyz' by Brokencyde**

** 'Shut up and sleep with me' by Sin with Sebastian **


	2. Chapter 2

**Dib's writing**

"talking"

_Zim's thoughts_

'_**music lyrics'**_

_**

* * *

**_

Zim got up and wandered out of the bedroom curious as to why he was alone.

"Dib? Where'd you goooooo?" the Irken called out.

Exploring the bathroom and living room he found nothing.

"You hereeee?"

Walking into the kitchen Zim found a note on the fridge.

**Zim,**

** I left and went to the store for food. That means that you shouldn't touch anything or kill anyone while I'm gone. I will be back so don't get over worked. I should be back around 2 pm. And I brought my Ipod so you couldn't break it if you want music go get your own. **

** Love Dib. **

_This is strangeee Dib-Worm has left me to find nourshiment. I am aloneee. Without the hooman moosiccc to burn my ears out with…soo aloneeee._

Looking at the clock Zim saw he had enough time to go and get back before Dib did.

"12 am…Zimmmm shall go get an Ipod of his ownnn and it will be better than Dib-Hoomanns!" the small male said while pointing a finger high in the air.

* * *

Walking into the local Best Buy Zim looks around.

"Youuuu!" Zim chased after someone. "Where do you have the Ipods for the moooosic?"

A small child went wide eyed and started to cry. Others looking around were glaring at Zim.

_What'd I dooo?_

Running to another corner of the store Zim found someone who seemed to be working there.

"Heyyy do you know where the moosic playing Ipods areee?" Zim said while running up to a teen in a uniform blue shirt.

"Mmmm…" the young guy looked around. "Yea"

"Where?" the small alien said looking ticked off.

"Follow me" the guy said while walking fairly quickly to a different section of the store.

"Thank you for your services hooman-work puppet."

Zim browsed a few then picked out one. Excitedly he ran up to the register and waited in line while complaining that the lines were long.

"WHYYY is it so muchhh? It's a small piece of metal that's allll!" Zim yelled at the poor girl working at the register.

"Listen. I can't help how much it is. So just pay or leave." She said while glaring at her nails.

Emitting a growl from his throat Zim took out some money and paid for the Ipod, with the cashier looking wide eyed.

* * *

Walking back into the house Zim first noticed that Dib still wasn't back.

"Zims still home…aloneee. He should be homeee it's 1o'clock" He complained as he walked to the computer room.

Zim sat down and started taking everything out of the box. Looking around and finally tilting the box upside-down Zim couldn't find the directions.

"What kind of mutiny is thissss?" He screamed. "Fine, I'll just look it up."

"Hmmm..download iTunes. Then install it. EASYYY!" Zim said while finding everything.

A few minutes later filled with screams and throwing boxes Zim stood up and pointed at the computer screen.

"Youuuu won't win! I will get this file to down-oh." he said while pressing the download button.

Zim finished hooking up his Ipod and tried to download music.

"You have to buy it!"

* * *

A couple hours later Zim sat eagerly on the couch waiting Dibs arrival. Once Dib walked in Zim popped off the couch and flashed Dib his new Ipod. Waving his ipod around Zim walked into of Dib and dragged him off the kitchen.

"Dibbbbb I got a new Ipod for the hooman moosic." He said excitedly.

"That's nice Zim help with the food."

"But but but moosic first then the fooooddd." Zim whined. "You left me all aloneee today"

Zim stared at Dib hoping the hooman would give in and listen to the music before he had to help.

"Fine whatever Zim." Dib said and put the bags he was carrying on the kitchen floor.

"Yesss!" said the Irken.

Pulling out his new Ipod Zim stared at Dib.

"I gotsss good moosicccc." Zim said while finding the first song.

Suddenly music starts blasting from the small piece of metal.

_**'The city is at war the city is at waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar**_

_** the city is at whoa-oh whoa-oh uh oh**_

_** Bang bang shoot em up shoot em up**_

_** Shoot em up yeah!'**_

"Wow Zim…really? Shooting…that's kinda violent."

Zim nodded excitedly "So is killing an entire raceee."

'_**Be in the grip of death Jesus!**_

_**Mercy killing last moment**_

_**Be in the grip of death Jesus**_

_**Mercy killing last moment'**_

"Zim the rest of that song isn't even in English!"

"So?"

"So you can't even understand it"

"You can't but I can because I am Irken and Irkens know allllll!" the Invader said while pointing a finger at Dib.

"Just continue Zim."

Zim put the next song on

'_**let's watch it burn**_

_**let's watch it burn**_

_**Let's watch this city burn the world**_

_**Let's watch this city burn **_

_**From the skyline on top of the world**_

_**Till there's nothing left of her**_

_**Let's watch this city burn the world.' **_

"That's kinda bad there Zim…burning a city and using it to burn the world."

"SHH, it's not doneeee."

**'_So now I pray to my nation _**

**_Destroyed under god'_**

"Destroyed under god…that's a new one Zim."

"Yesss now shush n listennn."

**'_The city looks so pretty do you wanna burn it with me'_**

"So he's talk-"

"SHH"

**'_Well use the trees as torches'_**

"Zim…"

**'_We'll flood the streets with corpses'_**

"OK Zim enoughhh" Dib said as he stood up. "The songs are um…nice"

"Yesss yes they are Dib-Hooman"

"So now will you help with food?"

"I guess but my songs are better than yours"

Zim followed Zim out to the car and grabbed some bags of groceries.

"How do you figure that Zim?"

"Cause' mines aren't all narsty like yours are."

"yea but Zim yours are more about killing everything and everyone and that's kinda bad too. It's just bad in a different sense."

"Yes buttt that's Zim's life is killing all of the hoomanns."

"Even me Zim?"

Zim looked up at Dib "Nuuu not you, you get to come in my ship up into space and float away with me forevarrrr"

"Aw that's adorable Zim"

"Yea don't get used to it cause I'm gonna go make some more plans to obliterate your pitiful hooman race. Maybe I'll light the trees on fire and leave corpses all in the streeetss. And maybe later I'll get some more moosic."

Dib sighed and Zim turned around to look at him.

"Have fun with that Zim"

"I willll" Zim said while hugging Dib.

"I'm glad" Dib said while leaning down to kiss Zim's forehead.

"Dib"

"Yea Zim?"

Zim stood on his toes and kissed Dib. "I win" he said while running from Dib who stood there for a moment.

"No you don't!" he said while chasing after his Irken.

**Songs used**

**The city is at war by Cobra Starship**

**Last moment by Yousei Teikoku**

**City by Hollywood Undead**

I am ashamed at the amount of time it took for me to get this up. But I've been working and doing summer reading projects which I still haven't finished yet and they are due soon. so any reviews are welcomed. **  
**


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